I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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