I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
