She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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