screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
