Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
