I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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