I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
it's great music for shaving your balls
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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