Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Enjoy the penises
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