This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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