We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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