Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
