What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
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