Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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