Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you win again, gameday.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
