4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
This is not my ceiling
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
