Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
