are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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