just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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