And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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