there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
