All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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