Well douche your snatch and let's go!
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
