i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize