my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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