Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Life is so much better after having sex.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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