maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
