I feel great
I just peed on a car
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
