it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
