Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
