His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
