she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
