i just made my gag reflex go away.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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