I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
this hospital has no fireball
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
