Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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