she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
