At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
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