Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Randomize
