A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Holy sore nipples Batman
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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