i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
jump out the window naked night went bad
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
