We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
