with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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