We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
