How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just cropdusted the office
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
