Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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