Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I touched a dick in church today
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
