Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
