it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
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