End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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