how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
