that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
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he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
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I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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