i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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