Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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