I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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