wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
