what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
