im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
