dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Randomize
