I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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