hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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