so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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