that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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